Tuesday, August 17, 2010
hey again!
Happy Fasting..
Though, its the 6th day of the fasting month..
I managed to fast for the first two days & it had to come 2hours before i complete the fast on the 3rd day.. MENSES!
& Sri gave me a joke, "its ok lah.. nanti dah bis puase, u byr alik how many days + 2hours la"
i wish! hahaha.. but too bad, there's no such thing as paying back 2hours Sri!
so boyfriend took half day today.. as in he's only fasting for half a day cos he cannot tahan..
too hectic at work..
pity him..
stupid HANG TEN ENTERPRISE! RACIST sia!
ok whatever!
i'm thinking right now, should i go for tomorrow's interview?
the lady called earlier today & i was asleep so i returned her call..
she sounded so arrogant! so hmmmm... action ar! like wat the hell!
sometimes it makes me think to myself that i was the best HR girl u could ever find..
ahh back to the story..
its at shenton way!
where i always wanted to work!
but yet again, the sound of the lady just turned me off!
not literally!
its like it made me don't want the job!
oh and anyways, its a Receptionist job..
if they were to ask when i am able to start, i'll say 2nd week of September cos baby wants to rest with me!
i mean once he leaves Hang Ten, he wanna have a break..
& he wants it to be with me.. he says we should both start working after his break..
which will probably be mid Sept..
so yeah, thats why i shall say my available date is 13th September.
u think they'll wait if they decide to take me in?
hmm whatever! i'm still thinking whether i should go though! hmm...
i'm bored now!
my blogshop just seemed so quiet this few days!
like no-one has been asking questions lately..
im sad.. i've haven't made enough profit..
so is the guy's skate tees..
its not going as smoothly as we wanted!
damn! i hope our money hasn't gone to waste!
well.. just pray everything goes smoothly hereon..
bye!
Shower me with love,
4:35:00 PM
Sunday, August 8, 2010
i have soo much to talk about..
soo much to complain..
soo much to share..
its been pretty long since i last updated..
& it ended on a happy note..
well, not today..
you know, i've been having this thoughts..
like why should we really be in a relationship..
it was great when we were just friends & now that we're together, everything & anything messes up my head..
its kinda like you wanna be in the relationship, but you don't when you're in it..
cos it hurts.. it just seems different..
different than what it is before..
i mean before we were together..
being friends was so carefree & yet so attached to each other but when we became an item, we're just too similar and whatever each other did, we reflect ourselves..
& well, you heard of the saying that sounds "the opposite attracts"..
Boys + Girls
Fire + Water
Hot + Cold
you know things like that..
& i heard this alot too..
you're more like a boy..
therefore we seems to be having this friction..
like he's being him, a boy or man i shall say, yet here i am being like a boy too..
i dont know how to explain it but its just the way it is..
you know sometimes i feel like being single..
jadi "andartu"..
but i can't..
& i won't..
i don't wanna be a lonely old lady one day..
i don't have much friends..
my family is amess..
here i am alone, letting him go in that state of mind..
if anything were to happen, i'm to blame..
like now i'm worried..
what the fuck was i thinking..
but again, i can't just keep ignoring my feelings..
how depressed i was when he shouted at me on the bike..
like what the fuck did i do wrong..
i only asked which way is he going?
and he just had to give me that attitude..
at times i feel bad cos whenever we're meeting his family, majority of the time, i'm one fucked up bitch..
but i can't help it..
cos that is usually the time he provoked me..
i didn't want to be a bitch while with his family..
c'mon, i know how to respect too..
but that's another reason why i don't like meeting them that much cos i know his mom has these tendency of being sarcastic, & no offence taken before, but sometimes if i don't try my very best to shut the fuck up, i might be rude to his mom's comments one day..
& i don't fucking want that..
it will be disaster..
i don't want people to think i'm bad cos i AM from a disfunctional family..
so i didn't wanna go..
i said i had no mood..
& i told his sister that i am not feeling well..
i hate to lie but i had too..
& it definitely hurt seeing him go disappointed..
but he didn't say a word about the day before..
like maybe explains why he suddenly freaked out..
i ain't no small kid you can shout at w/o no freaking reason..
i understand if you scold me cos i talk too loudly, and yes, you scold me a lot cos of that but you have to understand, its part of me..
i am a loud person indeed..
i do that with family and friends..
i don't do all those girly-girly talk.. & besides you hate girly-girly girls too..
i just don't know how to be in the middle, not too loud & not too soft..
i've grown up this way.. what do you expect me to do..
like maybe sometimes you scold me cos of what i wear, but i just feel like throwing something on w/o caring..
& i ain't no fashionista to know whats good for me..
i just wanna wear what i think looks good on me & i do not wish to care of whatever other people thinks or says..
i repeat ehk.. I DON't CARE!
hence yeah, you seems to have a lot that you don't like about me but still wanna be with me..
now its feeling like we're 13 again..
everything just isn't good enough for you..
i'm not good enough to be me to be with you..
you guys know what i mean?
i love him dearly.. definitely do.. but now i'm starting to think what do we love each other for?
we're seem to quarell over little things that shouldn't bother us..
like we can think of better things but no, we just have to quarell over small lil things..
& when i told you what my brother did for his gf on their 1st year anniversary, which i somehow was excited about, you just shut down.. when i asked you, what did we do ehk on our anniversary?
you know what we did?
we went out with your family..
no issue there but why did you have to be cold when i talked about my bro's celebration?
you choosed to meet your family & i didn't mind at all, but at least show some interest when i got excited about someone's else..
i know how much you're irritated when you talk to me & i just couldn't concentrate..
but sometimes when i'm quiet, you just have nothing to talk to me.. when i'm reading my mails or something, you'll start talking & i definitely can't say Shut Up!
you know i can't do both.. i can't read & at the same time acknowledge whatever your talking about..
i want to hear you out but sometimes when i wanna hear, there are just nothing to be said from you right?
i don't wanna compare but let me give you an example..
you remember the time we went to ECP to sit & maybe chit chat..
we freaking sat there near the pond, for i think only about 10-15 minutes smoking & talked a lil, & we moved off.. we have nothing to talk about.. & you know how talkative i can be.. but that day, that particular time, i realized we had nothing..
why is that?
maybe we spend too much time being beside each other that we don't know what else to talk about isn't it?
then again, people can say, then don't stay together..
but what happens when we get married one day? stay apart?
am i being cruel?
am i pointing all the blame to him?
cos i am not..
there were definitely my mistakes, but..
i don't know..
are we meant to be our 1st love & not our last?
cos i swear i told myself alot of times for atleast 5 years that i don't fucking wanna get back with Muhammad Zaid, but i did..
& here i am complaining?
who am i kidding?
i'm always complaining about my love life..
yet again, i feel all this that's why i'm saying.. or typing to be exact..
we're always quarelling about where to go, what to eat, ya-da-ya-da-ya-da..
i feel like giving up..
but i love him..
i love his family..
i mean they were nice towards me..
bottom line, i just hate the fact that he can shout at me anytime he wants..
i don't freaking need that..
got shouted when i know nothing what wrong i did..
my mom used to kick me out of the house, a LOT of times, & same thing, i know nothing of the reason..
i really don't need that anymore..
i'm freaking turning 21 soon & i swear i don't fucking want to be shouted at..
well, im left with nothing..
i'm definitely continuing with the relationship..
i'll just keep quiet..
when you shout, i'll walk away..
& come back when you've cooled down..
or say SORRY at least..
one reason & that only, cos i somehow bloody can't leave you.
I Love You! <3
Shower me with love,
12:59:00 AM
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
hey wassap geng?
long time..no see..
was just reading through my blog & then something popped up in my mind!
"Oi..Tak tau nak update eh?"
Hahaha..
ok so May is a hectic month for me..
3rd May = Ibu's Birthday
15th May = Mama & Baby's Birthday
16th May = 17th Monthsary
Ibu's birthday is done.
Had a mini Makan-makan where Kak Era bought food from Beach Road.
Memories of staying at Beach Road came to mind.
Each & everyone of my family member will celebrate our birthday with the least, Sup Tulang.
This time round, not as crowded as before.
Cos grandparents seperated.
Uncle & aunty to more in good of terms.
&& alah...just because past is past lar..
So next will be mama's & baby's birthday.
Mama one done as i already bought her a birthday gift.
A nice Casio watch.
Like wanna take it for myself seii.
But my problem now is with baby's birthday.
Im really not good in giving gift.
REALLY....
But as a gf, i definitely wanna get my boyfie something right?
i just cant put my hand on anything to buy for him though.
thought of buying him the Pull & Bear Jeans.
But....
thought of buying him an iPod touch.
But....
thought of bringing him out to dempsey rd & have a romantic meal.
But....
thought of going for a meal at breeks & then spend some quality time together.
But....
& his family have plans for him..
i'm not sure if i could be there with him..
cos its mama''s birthday too..
oh no no no no no..
HOW??
May Oh May!!
HOW??
&& i am so looking forward to meeting up my Bestie again..
Had great fun with her the other day..
DOUBLE DATE is FUN!!
Shower me with love,
7:31:00 PM
Saturday, February 27, 2010
old skewl ehk..
fren tk fren..
hehehe..
biase lah.. dian kan little girl..
entah sape ckp tknk fren..
walking away je kn..
dah lah.. nnt mengamok lak..
&& anyway.. its not your freaking fault..
didnt say it.. will never say it..
can say its my fault cos even when my bf read my sent item, he said kan kurang ajar u ckp "ala kawin sudah".. but i was joking.. yes i didnt end it with a HAHA cos i was in the bus, standing among the crowds with my bag and Hp in one hand and holding the pole with the other..
&& yes i admit it sounded kinda rude & i sincerely apologise cos i didnt mean to make u more upset.. but rather than i say, "ala buang ah.." when i knew all u ever wanted is to get married as soon as possible.. so take this, right from the bottom of my heart, im truely sorry for hurting that little heart of yours' when u were at the lowest point of your life..
like i said, masing-masing have their own flaws..
so when i say lets walk away/moving on,
just walk away n we dont have to end up like this..
masing2 write down kat blog masiing2 to let the other one read and reply through blog..
& maybe i am too childish to have a true friend..
a true bestfriend..
maybe coz i wasn't ever a good friend to any of my friends..
if i had any..
so dian, please fucking grow up & move on..
ok mam!
this is the last entry about this mam!
i promise! ;)
Shower me with love,
9:03:00 AM
Friday, February 26, 2010
ok well.. enough said..
everyone has their own flaws..
i may or may not be a good friend but i was at least giving it a try to know more, not only through blog-reading..
well.. a tru friend indeed aren't i??
dont even understand my own friend..
so i'll just keep having bestfriends that come & go..
however with all that said, im happy that she could finally find her true love..
god bless..
i wanna Watch My Name is Khan..
Looking at the reviews through net, it isn't highly rated..
but according to colleagues, the cerite sedih gile n its the best that Shah Rukh Khan has acted..
so, go watch or not??
im thinking of going rite now but...
hmm.. bf busy..
i wanna go out.. catch a drink or two..
but again...
hmm...
BOSAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shower me with love,
8:51:00 PM
Thursday, February 25, 2010
i noe its not a good thing to tell..
i noe im kinda like a busybody..
i noe it wont change a thing if u tell me..
but i just wanna be there for u wen u're in that state..
yelarr.. dulu lau tk jmpe, tk tnye khabar mestii org ingt kte tk ingt kawan..
tk pon mesti org kate, kwn tgh senang jer dtg, kwn susah buat bodoh..
but well.. nk uat camne.. kwn tknk bilang..
dosa tetap dosa..
knape dosa lain bole blg, knape dosa ni nk kena simpan..
ala aniway its not a big deal..
i'll just pray u will get well soon..
n i wasnt even gonna tell u to simpan..
was just trying to be there..
Shower me with love,
7:36:00 PM
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
i guess its kinda good day for me today..
bontot berat tak datang so minus of 1 bossy person..
i mean not bossy, demanding person..
eh i mean.. alah.. BONTOT BERAT je lar..
she took MC so its only me & Vivian..
i get to do things kinda smoothly as takde yang mengacau..
ok so.. the dateline for my report writing is soon; 26 Feb 2010, Friday
which is 2 days away & im not near complete..
i got alot to say but i donnoe where to start & where to end..
anyways, gaji in 2days time n even before payday, im pretty sure duit masok je tros duit klua..
& by end of 1st week March, duit confirm dah abiz..
haiz.. SICKENING!!
i just wish ..........
[fill in the blanks lah eh]
oh and im planning to go get my bike license..
dateline: by end of June hopefully..
also planning to go for part-time diploma/degree in HRM..
so many plans, so little money, but still have time..
insya'allah..
its been quite sometime now since last went clubbing..
ader urge nk drink n dengar loud LOUD music..
but putting that urge away cos NO MONEY larr wey..
haha..
bodoh dian..
oklarr..
TtYL! =)
Shower me with love,
7:34:00 PM
